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The Ballad of Pumpkin Patch (Part IV)

July 22, 2015

A Real Grown-Up Break Up

I sat in bed and cried. I was falling in love with him. That night had been delightful. Comfortable. Loving. Beautiful. It was too much. I can’t fall in love with someone who has a little something on the side he’s also sleeping with.

“I can’t sleep,” I texted him. “My head is spinning.”

He misunderstood the message. He was at work.

“It’s ok, I’ll talk to you later,” I said.

I showed up at work looking like my dog died. The intern was the only one brave enough to say something.

“You look so sad,” she blurted out when I passed by her desk.

“I just have a lot on my mind,” I said.

For the next 8 hours I thought about what I would say and how I would say it. A text or e-mail was the coward’s way out. I would talk to him. Maybe not in person. A phone call. We had talked on the phone one night for a long time. That would work.

He texted me during the day. He was exhausted from the trip and lack of sleep. He said he was going to take a nap when he got home.

“Text me when and if you wake up,” I told him.

When he was awake I was getting ready to walk. “You up for a chat?” I asked.

“I’m kind of groggy.”

“Get some rest, we’ll talk later,” I said.

Finally as I was on my last lap in the park he texted, “What’s up?”

“Can I call you?”

“Sure.”

“How are you?” he asked.

“Ok,” I said with a shaky voice.

“So, what’s up?”

“Um…..” awkward pause…..heavy breathing….”I don’t think this is going to work out.”

“Oh…uh…ok………why?”

“The same reasons as the first two times I tried to stop seeing you. I’m not handling this very well.”

“Ok…..”

“I don’t want to be a iron in the fire. I’m taking my iron out of the fire.”

“Ok, I understand…..I’m still interested in you as a human being. Can we try the friend thing again?”

“I don’t want to be your friend. I mean, I don’t mean it like that. I want to be more than your friend.”

“Ok….”

“Maybe I just need some time.”

“Well……this sucks……”

Awkward pauses.

“Ok, well, I’ll let you go………I’m sorry.”

“Ok, Marie…….Buy.”

“Buy.”

I got in my car and cried.

The next day, I did the Marie thing and sent him a sentimental e-mail. I told him how I felt about him. I told him how I had walked in the morning because I was so excited to see him. I told him he was great. I told him I loved the way he smelled.

I told him I might get over it and maybe we could be friends, when I could sit next to him without wanting to suck his lips off.

I told him that if he found himself ready for what I was ready for, he knew where to find me.

 

I haven’t heard from him since.

I lost my Pumpkin Patch.

 

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