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Just Another Visit by Z. No Big Deal

September 25, 2015

I didn’t imagine that I would continue to see him. That Z coming into town to see me would be……no big deal. He came in Saturday morning and left Sunday afternoon, stopping in Baton Rouge on his way back to see friends.

It was nice. The usual. We greeted each other at the door, didn’t take a step inside the room but began kissing and undressing each other. It was 8am. We spent the day in bed, watching House of Cards, eating pizza and other things. I got to see his reaction when Frank pushed the reporter onto the subway. He gasped. We talked and laughed, took an afternoon nap.

I had asked him a favor. I wanted him to come sit with me at the bar at Pamplona. Just this once. I wanted him on my turf, with me for anyone to see. Of course I informed Amy so she could finally see the man behind three years of stories.

We showered and changed. I ironed his shirt for him. I wore a dusty blue shirt-dress. He wore a denim shirt and khaki’s with loafers. We arrived to an empty bar and sat in the middle. Z had asked me before he could expect an ambush of my friends to show up. I lied a little and said no. Amy was the only one I had told. And Liz but she had met him many times. I wasn’t sure she would be interested in seeing him again.

I ordered wine. He ordered a virgin mojito. He looked like a kid drinking kool-aid. I introduced him to James and Ryan. James gave me a secret, “who is that?!” look. We were instantly comfortable and I was happy to have him there. He asked about Liz and I saw her walking in the door. “Speak of the devil,” I said a couple of times but he didn’t get what I was saying until she walked up. She hugged him and said hello. “When is Shawn showing up,” Z asked. “He wouldn’t care, even if i invited him,” I said. Amy walked in and was finally introduced. The four of us talked and joked. Liz asked about his job. Amy said she had wondered if he was real. He told the story of turning 24, twice. (I don’t think I wrote about that.) He was outgoing and funny and he gingerly held my hand and touched my knee on occasion. He insisted on paying the bill and we lingered at the bar after Amy and Liz left. The bartenders were cleaning up and we were almost alone in the place. He kissed me and I whispered in his ear, “I love you.”

In the morning we went out for breakfast and he told me funny stories about how spoiled his little brother is. He dropped me off at home and we had a rather unemotional goodbye. Then he left, again. I went inside and cried for about a minute and then went about my day. By the end of the day I had gone through boxes of papers and filed them neatly away. I organized journal writings and drawings, continuing a re-organization I had begun the weekend before.


Like I said, no big deal.


From → Rantings

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