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OK Stupid Cupid-The 2 Indians

March 9, 2016

My  OK Cupid profile floats in the online dating universe unattended. I don’t go trolling for matches very often. I get a message from someone now and again, check their photos for a Tinder-like, gut check evaluation and 98% of the time, ignore the message.

I check Tinder when I’m feeling particularly desperate or hopeful, but neither venue has given me any leads of late.

I finally broke up with the Iraqi. His interesting stories were not outweighing his constant complaining and strange contradictions in extreme attentiveness and radio silence. We were not the same kind of people.

Of course I was a chicken shit about it. I didn’t actually break up with him. He saw me at the park and asked me why I had not contacted him. “I don’t know,” I said like a child. The truth was I didn’t want to be the one holding the reigns all the time and I was just coming off of a fairly bad depressive episode.

“Do you want to keep seeing me?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said again.

“It’s ok,” he said. “I told you, you just have to tell me. I want you to be happy.”

I gave him a hug and a kiss and told him thank you and kept walking. And that was that.

Then, right on cue, a decent looking, somewhat age appropriate guy messaged me on OK Stupid, I mean Cupid. We struck up a conversation. We had a lot in common. He liked The West Wing, which I found very exciting.

Then he started asking me to send him more pictures. I asked him why the ones on my profile were not sufficient. He wanted to see my whole body, to see if the rest of me matched the head shots. His line of questioning was very red-flaggy. He wanted to meet. He was all the way in Houston. He casually introduced sex into the conversation. By the end of the day-long chat, I was feeling apprehensive and disappointed. I think he was just looking for a quick lay.

While I was on the OK site, chatting it up with Indian #1, another guy popped up in the homepage news feed. He was all the way in Galveston. He wasn’t a “match.” I’m not even sure why his profile was visible to me. He was dark and cute and very age appropriate. I “liked” his profile. He “liked” mine back. He began a conversation. He had a daughter. He was a scientist. Though he was four hours away I was slightly enthused about the prospect of finding a smart, professional, old enough, Indian man. Plus, he was funnier than the first one.


………….and then he informed me that he was separated from his wife for the past two years.

And there it is.

“Do you hope to reconcile?” I asked.

“No, not now but you never know what the future holds,” he responded.

“That’s not no. That’s a maybe,” I said.

“Don’t twist my words,” he defended.

I knew better. I know what it’s like to be very sure that you will never want to reconcile with your ex. And I also know that when you want something bad enough, you do what is necessary to get it.

This guy is under the illusion that he’s theoretically single.

Shut it down.

So, thanks Ok Stupid. You suck. You have no decent, viable, single, available, smart, cute men anywhere near me at all. I hate you and your little brother Tinder, too.


From → Rantings

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