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Not Going to Houston

April 5, 2016

After realizing that Mr. Houston was Pumpkin-Patching me, that is to say that he informed me that I was the greatest thing since sliced bread and that we could never be anything serious…..I was angry. At first at him, but then at myself. I looked over our messages, I reviewed conversations. He had been clear. I’m the one who wasn’t being honest. I’m the one engaging with men who I know are not really available.

Despite this, he had come all the way from Houston to see me, traversing closed roads and detours through back country Louisiana roads where one is likely to be pulled over for driving while not being white. And he wanted me to go to Houston.

We planned for the weekend of the first. Then I had a work thing until Saturday night. I asked him if a Sunday-Monday weekend would work. He said yes. I took Monday off and I planned to drive in late Saturday night.

Yada yada yada and I didn’t go to Houston. After an exhausting three days at a fishing place on the Sabine River in north Louisiana, with very little time away from co-workers and my boss, he canceled. Something about a partner and a presentation and not being prepared and he wouldn’t be able to give me his full attention….blaa, blaa, blaa.

Just as I was processing this information, my boss informed me that we could leave at 5pm instead of 8pm. I was on the road by 4:45pm and home by 7pm.

“So you would be here now, if you had come?” he asked me when I told him I was home.

“Yeah, I would,” I said.

“We could be eating Indian food and watching a movie.”


There were protestations of missing me and wishing he was with me. There was hope for a reschedule.

But I didn’t know. I had a bad taste in my mouth. Every time I got a text from him or found myself waiting for a reply, I got this feeling that I was one of several women he was talking to. How special can I be if I’m just an option?

Mr. Houston is the lesson of Pumpkin Patch continued. I wonder how long it will take me this time to let him go.

My calendar is full this month. If he wants to see me as much as he pretends to, he’ll have to come here. Something tells me I won’t be seeing Mr. Houston again.

Shut it down.


From → Rantings

  1. You should have headed east to visit us!

  2. Marie permalink

    Yeah, I should have. But then I would’ve just been bummed out and exhausted.

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