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Reclaiming Christmas

November 30, 2016

I hate Christmas. Or at least I used to.

With grown children, one far away and my mom gone, Christmas was a couple of days to survive, to get through. It all reminded me of what I’ve lost.

But then, my daughter announced her pregnancy and I decided to move to Portland. Suddenly it dawned on me: From here on out, every Christmas I’ll be with my daughter,  her husband and two young children! Yes!

This was going to be my last lonely Christmas.

Then I met this guy.

Mr. Canada. We had only met a week before when he said, “What if I came down there for Christmas.”

It was crazy, of course. I expressed doubt along with timid interest.

But he was determined.

I told myself, my co-worker and friends that I wouldn’t believe it until I saw him at the airport. Then he sent me his itinerary. I believed him a bit more.

The mom/hostess that lives somewhere inside my cynical, moody facade woke up.

I’ll have to get a tree. And lights. I don’t have lights. I have some ornaments. Oh my God, I’m going to decorate for Christmas. 

I got all excited. I would have a guest for Christmas.

We could go to midnight mass at the cathedral around the corner. And he cooks.

The more I talked to him, the more excited I got.

I bought him a gift. He said he wears french cuffs. I found some silver cuff links with a subtle dragonfly on them. I thought, if it works out the dragonfly can remind him of how we met. If it goes to shit, he can be reminded of that fling he tried to have with that chic in Louisiana.

He teased me about wearing some panties with “Ho Ho Ho,” on them. I told him, “over my dead body.” This has become a running argument. So, to surprise him I bought a pair of panties with the Canadian flag on the back.

I’m having a tree decorating party this weekend. Amy said she’s going to string popcorn. I  used to do that with the kids.

I’ve been walking around ridiculously happy which scares the shit out of me.

Who would’ve guessed looking at the profile of a guy in Canada would lead to me reclaiming one of the joys of my past.

Welcome back Christmas.


From → Rantings

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